Emmy's Akatsuki Style!
by The Pig in the Striped Pijamas
Summary: The Akatsuki's are invited to the Emmy's after being invited to the reality show, hosted by druged and drunken Death, I'll be your host. Tobi's phsicic powers increase, Kakuzu's thong itches and Itachi's teddy turns alive!Sequel to I'll be your host!CRACK
1. E is for Excitement! To the Emmy's!

**Emmy's the Akatsuki style/Halloween camp is coming!**

* * *

**E is for Excitement! On their way to the Emmy's!**

* * *

**WARNING!: This is the sequel to "I'll be your host!" so if you don't read that one, this story wont have much sense, since it has reference to that story. READ THAT ONE FIRST! Please? Well, up to you, but I just tell you…**

**WOOO!! SEQUEEEEL!! VIVA! **

**Sorry, but I am exited :D Only for you to know, each chapter will have the initials of " Emmy's And The Halloween Camp", meaning it will be even LONGER than last one (special to the little fans of the last story :3)!! Exciting fun!**

**Well, enough of ME talking, lets make this stupid people speak for themselves :D**

* * *

That day was the **grand** day. The day where the Akatsuki's where going to the Emmy's. THE EMMY'S GODAMIT! Pein had a very elegant orange tux to match his hair with a black tie and changed all of his face's piercing into silver ones. Sakura had a very pretty pink gala dress. It was really long, it fell to the floor and she was happy she was holding hands with him.

"So, people, lets get moving!" Pein pointed to the door and all of the Akatsuki's cheered, jumped madly in happiness as they "WOO'd" and "YUHU'd".

They all got onto the just-arrived Akatsuki-mobile.

"Oh my god, I cant believe it! First, we are invited to the **best** reality show, and **THEN** we are invited to the Emmy's! I simply **can't** believe it!" White Zetsu claimed. He had a white tux with a black hat and tie and polished black shoes . He had taken off his plant, out of pure joy. Konan leaned on his shoulder and smiled.

"I know! Dude, is the second greatest thing in the world!" She commented happily. She was wearing a tight but really plain blue gala dress. It was made out of silk and was a present from the all of the Akatsuki's for her last birthday. She changed her chin stud into a golden one. She had golden stars in her ears and wore DG golden sandals. Zetsu had bought her all of that cool golden stuff because he said she was worth that and **more**. He turned his head to look at his girlfriend.

"Yeah? And what's the greatest thing in the world?" Black Zetsu asked.

"You." She said with a chuckle. He stroked her hair with his hand as he looked down.

"I can't believe it, Zetsu-san! It's just so…" Tobi started and then he looked at his partner.

"**INCREDIBLE!!**" He and Itachi squealed excitedly. Him and Itachi wore a black tuxedos, Tobi with an orange tie, matching to his swirl mask and Itachi with a red one. The were holding hands too and they were chatting away. Like exited fan-girls.

"Calm down you two, would you?" Kakuzu tried to calm the high-school-like people.

"Oh fuck it, Kakuzu, just do like me and pretend they don't exist." Hidan told him. He clung from Kakuzu's arm and he wore a Givenchy tux with no tie and un-tucked white shirt. Kakuzu wore a really expensive one, one that Hidan asked specially to Valentino to make, because he told him that he wanted his partner to look smart. And incredibly, he agreed. So in the end Kakuzu had to pay. For Hidan's sake.

"But those two have **all** the right in the world to be exited, hn!" Deidara commented as he got nearby with Sasori.

" We are supposed to be heterosexual **bad asses** … yet we are a bunch of gay people with mental and physic problems. So stay calm people!" Sasori told them. Deidara's outfit was pastel yellow with a black tie and Sasori's was deep red with a black tie as well.

Kisame was sitting down it his seat with Temari **AND** Hinata sitting in the same seat as him. He was using a navy tux with a black tie too.

"Sorry, but theirs no more space, honeys." He told the pair of dressed up kunoichis as he patted them on their laps. They wore clothes very similar to Sakura's, only Temari's was purple and Hinata's was a darker navy than Kisame's clothes.

"Oh no prob!" They told the fish man wile they started chatting.

"I can't believe it either! I mean, we should get sued or something, not get invited to this year's Emmy Awards!" Pein told the rest and Kisame nodded.

"Really, people this days are **seriously** stupid." He said and Hidan nodded.

"It's like fucking heaven, I mean, destroy a crappy whole studio, being ripped into a fucking lot of pieces and ending in gay love in one single fucking day and receive **NO** suing crap or gossips! **FUCKING GREAT!**" Hidan continued as he tugged Kakuzu's arm excitedly. Kakuzu frowned.

"Hidan! Your wrinkling my clothes! You better watch out, because no way in **hell** I'm buying another one. Ah, and you are paying the dry cleaning for all of our tux's now that I remember. I lost a bet." He told Hidan. Hidan boiled.

"**WHAT!?** ARE YOU FUCKING **DRUGGED** OR SOMETHING!? FUCK HEAD! NO WAY IN HELL **IM** PAYING ANYTHING! DON'T BET IF I DON'T EVEN **KNOW** WHAT THE FUCKING BET IS ABOUT!" He bellowed. Kakuzu giggled.

"You are still paaaayiiing!"

"HELL NO! IM NOT GOING TO FUCKING PAY A FUCKING NICKLE YOU-"

"Stop!" Black Zetsu commanded. The fighting lovers turned to look at him that was holding hands with Konan. "We are in the Emmy's for **GOD'S SAKE!**And still, **WHY** are you fussing about **now** anyways!?" He asked. "Be happy people. Be more like us." He then said with a look at Konan.

Both took a look at each other again and then sat down. Hidan tangled his arm in Kakuzu's again and then smiled.

"Sorry, shit-dip…" He mumbled and Kakuzu smiled too.

"Don't worry about it, my bad…"

"Great, great, **GREAT! **We are going to the EMMY'S! I hope this time we don't get lost in a desert again though, hn…" Deidara told Sasori. Konan, that was to Zetsu's right and Sasori's left, heard.

"You got lost, **WERE?**" She asked. Deidara gulped.

"Nowhere…ehe…Konan…" I said nervously.

"I could have **SWORN** I heard you got lost in a desert…" She said as Deidara sweated like mad. "…but I guess I could have sworn wrong…" And Deidara gave a "Oh-So-Big-My-Shit-Ass-Was-Saved" sight.

"Sometimes I swear wrong too, you know…Good boys get wrong sometimes!" Tobi, that was next to Zetsu, told Konan. Konan just stared. He was with his head cocked, cuddled on Itachi's shoulder. Itachi had a great smile in his face. "Right, Tachi-kun?"

"Yeah. Good boys like you can get wrong sometimes…" He told wile stroking his spikes. Tobi purred.

"Thanks…"

Kisame was talking away to the kunoichis wile Pein talked to his date.

"…But, I mean. I **killed** that Sasori-guy. He was such a heartless **bastard**! I mean, he almost **killed** me for Christ's sake! And I am a principal!" Sakura told Pein. Sasori was with his teeth gritted and with a killer stare to the girl that was sitting across his seat, in front of him.

"_Pein. Or you shut the __**FUCK**__ up the bitch you have as a girlfriend, or we are going to have rather __**bloody**__ mess here …" _He hissed. Pein just ignored him, he felt happy Sakura felt so confident.

"He can't **die**! He is a freaking **puppet**!" He answered back. If Deidara wasn't there to pull Sasori back to his seat, blood would have been spurting from various places in Pein's body.

"Calm down, Danna, you are going to cause more trouble that there is of us being gay, hn…" Deidara told as he pulled back his partner before he threw himself over at where Pein and Sakura were.

"Why are people so **RUDE**!?" Sasori asked. He had tearful eyes.

"Awww! DANNA! Don't worry, you are damn hot and sexy and stuff…shhushhh…C'mon, don't cry, don't cry, hn…" Deidara shushed the red as he hugged him. He darted a glare to the pink-haired. He didn't know her and he already hated her.

"Well, the thing is that was Sasori's **BUNSHIN**. Not even Sasori would be **as** stupid. And he is pretty nice if you take out his unkindness…" Pein told Sakura.

-.-?

"Oh yeah…I guess. But I still think he is a heartless bastard…" She said, disagreeing with his date. Pein didn't care at all.

"_Well, I do too, but don't tell him I said that…_" He whispered in Sakura's ear and she nodded with a giggle.

"They are fucking **LAUGHING** at me, brat!" Sasori wailed harder.

"NO! I heard him, he told her about…eerr…about the…uh…oh yeah! About Kakuzu's thong, hn!" Deidara invented the conversation between the two people.

"**WHY ME!**" Sasori screamed melodramatically.

Hidan was rubbing his head in Kakuzu's chest cutely as he cuddled with a toothy smile in his face. He sniffed his smell.

"You know your neck has a delicious smell, shit-dip?" Hidan told the man. Kakuzu smiled. He and Deidara weren't the only people that had said that before.

"So you like it?" He asked and Hidan rubbed strongly his head as he nodded.

"You smell like meat, Kakuzu-kun!" Tobi commented. They both glared at Tobi.

"SHUT THE FUCK UP FUCKING **ORANGE FACE!**" Hidan screamed at him. He **seriously** thought Kakuzu smelled delicious.

T.T" Sorry…" And then he turned asleep in Itachi's shoulder. Itachi was **trying** to speak to Kisame, but this one had seemed to have forgotten about him since he discovered that his companions were nice chicks, a little better that Konan, and somehow better than his ex-possessive guy. Itachi didn't see the need to be possessive now because he knew Tobi wasn't that kind of guy. And he was his god damned cousin.

"Kisa-"

"WHAT!? They think you are an **ugly fish!?**" Temari practically screamed. Kisame nodded sadly.

"Yeap…They did and still do…" He bolted his head.

"I think you are freakily gorgeous…" She told him and he smiled.

"M-me too!" Hinata said shyly.

"Thanks, honeys... I really **needed** that…" He told them as he hugged each one with one arm.

"Ki-"

"A-are you happy of go-going to the E-Emmy's?" Hinata spoke and Itachi's words were cut once more. Itachi was about to yell, but he decided not to because Tobi was drooling in his shoulder.

"DROOLING ON MY SHOULDER!?"

Yes, drooling in your fucking shoulder. Now, may I continue?

"Bah, go on, but can I speak to Kisame?"

NO

"Damn…"

Well, he didn't want to scream because Tobi was **ASLEEP** in his shoulder (HAPPY NOW, ITACHI? XD Oh don't worry I still love you…)

"Kisameeeee…" He tried once more.

"Well, yeah but-"

"HOSHIGAKI KISAME, GOD DAMNED FLIPPER'S COUSIN!!" Itachi yelled. Temari leaned, then Kisame and then Hinata.

"Yeah, Tachi-kun?" He called.

"Oh, great. I forgot…" Itachi said bothered as he turned. He wasn't jealous because Tobi was great, but he excepted that his best friend at least would **talk** properly to him.

"Oh hell…" And Kisame turned to talk too.

Pein kept talking to Sakura, and he turned somewhere **normal** when he was with her. Konan was holding hands with Zetsu and he told her **lots** of times how pretty she looked in her clothes and she told him he looked really hot without Alice and with that **great** hat.

"I am sad I left Alice. She is like my **big** daughter." He told her sadly.

"But you look really **fine** without it, love." She told him as he stroked his white cheek with the back part of her hand. He cocked his head and smiled.

"Thanks!"

"Whenever, dude." And she came closer to him.

Sasori was being calmed down by Deidara and he kissed him a few times.

"Don't worry, danna. I love you and that's what matters, hn." He tried to make him better. And he was trying to dry his tears.

"Thanks, brat."

"Your totally welcome danna, hn…" He made Sasori seat on his lap as he hugged him, like if he were a hard teddy bear.

After some more minutes, the criminals were still talking, stroking and playing with each other.

"Hey people, me and Sakura are **starving**…" Pein started and the rest turned interested in what Pein told them, for the first time in their **lives**.

T.T "Thanks, Lauren…"

You are welcome! Well, lets continue…

"I was planning on stopping by…"

"TACO BELL, hn!"

"DUCKY'S!"

"McDONALDS!"

"BURGER KING!!"

"FISH N' CHIPS!"

"TOYS R US!"

Everybody gave Sasori a **really **questioning look.

"**What!?** I can't eat proper food, people. I am a PUPPET, remember? Geez, your even **worst** than my grandma…" Sasori muttered and everybody nodded with the questioning look still in their faces.

"Well, I was planning on stopping on to refill of gas and grab a sandwich there, but I guess you are **really** starving, guys. Well, in that case we have…" He looked at his watch (Watch? Does he have a **watch**?)."…3 hours with 40 minutes to get there and eat. I think that is good enough!" He said as he pulled Yuura's coat. "Man, take us to…"

_**20 minutes later…**_

"I **LOVE** Chicky! And those **HATS!**" Pein squealed. Sakura took a look at his date. She sweat-dropped heavily.

"Damn…" Kisame said. He was wearing Chicky's special party hat and he was in a foul mood. At the KFC's door Pein had discovered that Hinata was spying on them so he told her and Temari to leave if they didn't want visit Death(And Death was in China so it would have been **really** tiring going all that way…). Kisame was talking to Itachi, who walked with Tobi at his side.

"Well, I think that-"

"I think that too! Kisame-san!!" He told excitedly. Kisame looked at him really annoyed. He had been trying to say the same thing for **10 whole minutes** without Tobi interrupting. He didn't even **know** what the hell Kisame and Itachi were trying to talk about.

"Tobi, one more word and my patient limits will explode…" Kisame said dangerously calm. Tobi didn't get it.

"But I **DO**, Kisame-san!" Kisame looked at him and then made grip of Samehada and Tobi sweated nervously. "Ok, ok, Kisame-san… I'll stop…"

Kisame stopped holding the sword.

"Well, as I was saying…" He glared at Tobi."…I think that…"

"HEY! Kisame, Itachi!" A voice from behind called. Kisame was about to slice (or shave?) Hidan's head off with Samehada but **JUST** in time, Kakuzu stopped him. Kisame took a better look and saw it wasn't Tobi and apologized.

"Sorry, Hidan…ehe…I thought you were Tobi…"

"What the fuck, just listen to me god damn it." He responded. He was tangled with Kakuzu's arm still and then looked at all sides. When he assured no-one heard, he leaned forward to where the two were. "_Obito's BD is coming soon, and we are the only ones that know… we need to make him a special BD surprise!" _He whispered to the fish-man and Itachi. Kisame nodded surprised. He had forgotten. Itachi wondered how Hidan knew **he** knew about the TobiObito thing.

"_So what are we going to do?" _Kisame asked. Hidan looked at him and thought a wile. Kakuzu was standing there, whistling, waiting for him to finish talking to Kisame and Itachi.

"_Ok, So Halloween is coming soon, so I guess we might…"  
_

"GUYS! Here!! Lets eat here!!" Pein squealed as he pointed to a table with lots more Chiky hats and printouts and a bunch of other gay shit.

"Oh shit…" Hidan told them both. "I guess we will have to plan it later…" Itachi and Kisame nodded and went off as Hidan spoke to Kakuzu about who-the-hell-puts-Chiky-shit kinda stuff.

"Ehm…Pein? Don't you think we are big enough to hang in the children zone? Are you still a firkin' baby? Man, no wonder no-one respects you…" Konan asked annoyed as a little plastic ball from the ball pool smacked her in the head. She was angry at the kid but she resisted to hit him to get an answer from the over-excited leader.

T.T" But I **love** Chiky!!" Pein wailed, but by this time Konan threw the two balls that had fallen on her head back to the kids and turned around to hear only "iky"

"Good boys like Chiky, don't they, Pein-sama?" Suddenly Tobi butted in. Pein looked at him surprised at first, thinking he was Itachi but then he nodded strongly with a decided face.

"HELL YEAH, TOBI!!" And they both high-fived.

"Damn…" Sakura and Konan sighted at the same time.

"Well, people, SIT DOWN!!" Pein yelled excitedly as he sat down on his extremely small chair. Everybody mumbled angry stuff about fucked up reputation.

"Well, what do you wanna eat?" Pein asked the S-Ranked **CRIMINALS** that were eating in KFC's kiddies zone as a lady almost told them to get out of the children zone, because Konan had been throwing them balls as a revenge to all of the kids, but Pein looked at her with his nice eyes and killed her instantly.

"**I want chicken!"** Tobi yelled as he stood up in his chair, screaming excitedly and turning around in circles in his place.

"SIT DOWN, FUCK HEAD!" Hidan stood up and pulled his cloak and he fell in his butt in his chair.

"Good boys are not fuck heads…T.T" He sobbed as Itachi hugged him.

"No, no. You are no fuck head.

"Damn right. Im sorry. You are a SHIT head!" Hidan screamed at Itachi. He just ignored him

Don't worry, Hidan was just being mean…" He patted Tobi's head. Hidan looked at him angrily.

"NO I WAS NOT!! I WAS TELLING THE WHOLE TRU-" But Itachi glared at him. And he threw himself down on his chair, still pissed.

"Fuck you…"

"Well, GUYS, and girls, what do you wanna eat?!" Pein asked again and every muttered what they wanted to eat, except for Tobi, that sobbed his answer.

8 minutes later, the pop corn chicken, the crispy one, the spicy wings and all of the other fattening crap, arrived.

"Well we have…" Pein looked at his watch again." 2 hours to eat. So start…**NOW!**" He screamed as everybody started shoving the food violently into their mouths, specially Deidara that competed with Itachi and won. Itachi complained, pissed off.

"But you have _three_ **mouths**! That's not fair!!" Itachi said angrily when Deidara was sticking his tongue(s) at him in his victory.

"You said that didn't maaateeeer, hnnnn!" Deidara chanted. He got near to Itachi's face and chanted it there. He knew Itachi was always worrying about the ISHPB (**I**tachi's **S**uper **H**ot **P**ersonal **B**ubble) and what he would do if somebody (that wasn't Kisame or Tobi) got in it.

_Shit! I need my space!_ Itachi thought hurriedly.

And he kissed his organization enemy, long and passionately. As Itachi kissed him, Deidara was caught in the middle of an air intake for continuing his chanting. He just shut his eyes and played the moment. And when Itachi stopped, he sat down and stayed still, thinking in what had just happened then.

_Ok..._

_Fuck, I think now I surpassed my limits… Congrats Tachi! You've fucked up your reputation once more… _Itachi thought once more with a sight.

Tobi hadn't seen him because he was too busy shoving food through his single mask hole, and failing to eat due to his goggles. Zetsu ate carefully to impress Konan and she did the same. Sakura and Pein were talking about his life as a miserable-bastard-criminal-gut.

Sasori was talking to Hidan, Kakuzu and Kisame as Deidara sat dreamingly, thinking in Itachi. He had fallen in love with his enemy.

How **tragic…**

No, not really.

**x-x-x-x**

Kisame was sitting next to Hidan and Itachi. Hidan stopped eating like a pig a wile later and leaned his back to the chair with his hands crossed over his head. He looked at Kisame and Itachi and then looked around and took advantage that Tobi was in the toilet. He got near to them and whispered.

"_Well as I was saying, for Tobi's birthday we could…"_

"TIME'S UP!" Pein said sadly as he looked at his watch.

"FUCK YOU! CAN'T I SPEAK, FOR JASHIN'S SAKE!" Hidan screamed. He was really looking forward on telling them his well elaborated plan.

…

-.-?

"Didn't you wanna go to the Emmy's?" Pein asked. Hidan remembered and shrugged.

"Fuck it. Lets go if you already interrupted me. Tch, you bunch of fuck heads…" He said very pissed as he strolled off by himself, waving at them to come.

"YEAH!" They all screamed. They all got of the tables and then went inside the limo, where Yuura was waiting. They all started chatting.

Itachi was looking thoughtfully at the nowhere and Kisame noticed.

"Tachi, what's up?" He asked as he nudged his partner. He just shrugged.

"Oh, nothing… But I could have sworn I forgot about something…" He said.

…

"DON'T LEAVE MEEEE!!" Tobi screamed as he ran out to get the limo that was already a few meters away. "DAMN!"

* * *

**YAY! First chapy of the sequeeeel! I'm happy! I need to update soon, so the Emmy's and Halloween don't mix up :S I started this story about the day I finished the other one, only my brain dried out a wile, and my end of year exams are getting dangerously close… But I have some great ideas for this story too! Remember! Read I'll be your host first, or this wont have much sense (I don't even KNOW why the hell I put that now that you've finished reading the chapy but well…)**

**Well, thanks for reading this stupid crap I call a story! **

**-Lauren**


	2. M is for Me querer tacos

**Emmy's the Akatsuki style, the Halloween camp is coming!**

**

* * *

****M is for Me querer tacos!**

* * *

**Just for those who don't know what "Me ****querer**** tacos" mean, it means "Me want tacos".**

**Hmmm... I am so damn bored. I need to write a little more, yet I need top study :S Damn… I don't have much ideas of what to put here, just…**

****

ENJOY!! (Or else… )

* * *

A wile after, the Akatsuki's noticed there wasn't anybody annoying the hell out of them.

"Oh shit! We forgot Tobi!" They all said nervously and giggling, covering their mouths with surprise. Some of them cracked-hysterically-up like mean bitches, some of them just thanked God (Or Jashin) and others, just didn't care enough to do something.

They all told (Or screamed, whatever goes first) Yuura to pull over and pick up Tobi. Surprisingly enough, Tobi had been running until then.

**x-x-x-x**

They were all in the car and then Pein looked at his watch again. They still had 3 hours to get there and be in the Emmy's, only that he knew that if you told them "We have 6 till the show!", they would have stayed until then in KFC. Wile he was wondering with his mind, he received an insistent nudge from the tired-of-running Tobi.

"Pein-sama, ehm…we have a problem…" He said nervously. Pein opened his mouth to say "What?" but Tobi gestured his clothes first. They were dirty as hell, full of chicken stains, mud stains and stains inside the stains. Pein just shut his mouth with a calm "oh-fuck-it" face. He turned around.

"HEY! Yuura-guy! Can you pull over at Gorgio Armani's Emporium??" He asked and Yuura nodded as he stirred the wheels. Tobi's eyes were wide open.

"I AM GETTING A GORGIO ARMANI TUXEDO!!" He screeched as everybody covered their ears.

"SHUT UP!" They all screamed back.

"T.T Sorry…" He muttered. But his sadness didn't last long, since a few minutes later, they arrived to the emporium. Yuura pulled over at the enormous blueish-transparent glass door and all of the villains came out of the limo, sick of Tobi's happiness.

"Shit, can't you stay your ass calmed down for **ONCE** in your fucking life, orange fuck head?" Hidan asked. He was pretty pissed that every time he wanted to tell his plans, he was interrupted.

Tobi didn't bother to responding, he was way **way** **WAY** to excited to care. The Akatsuki's decided to divide themselves among two groups of people that talked to each other (not because they were mad at each other, but because they simply liked those people), there was Itachi's group, that was formed by him, Kisame, Hidan, Kakuzu and Tobi and there was Pein's group, formed by the rest of the people (and by then, Sakura). Only that Tobi was being Pein's tail. And he was pretty pissed.

"Can you **stop** following me, Tobi!?" He asked. Tobi was jumping and twitching in happiness, talking away, but wasn't heard. He didn't care. They all came through the door to an **ENORMOUS** duplex building, **FULL** up to the ass of a fucking lot of clothes. Lots of EXPENSIVE clothes. Tobi's and Itachi's eyes became stars.

"**SHOPPING!!**" They both screamed as they ran to the counter to ask for a XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXL bag. Pein sighted.

"I'm just buying whatever tux Tobi wants or needs so, Itachi, fuck off. Or else I will sicount your salary (WTF??)." He said annoyingly, since they were being a pretty gay pair of "villains". Itachi cascaded tears.

"BUT I WANT SHOPPING!" He said stubbornly. Kisame sighted at the man's behaivour.

"Oh my god, Itachi. Your lil' bro's right. You **ARE** a failure after all…" He muttered. Itachi gave him a dark frown.

"Don't you **DARE** to speak of my bro in my presence." He said. He looked dangerously serious. Kisame sweat-dropped.

"Ok, ok. Sorry, Itachi-san…" He said respectfully. And if he said Itachi-san instead of Tachi or Tachi-kun, he was scared as hell. Itachi then smiled.

"HAHAHA! SO GOTCHA!" He squealed. This time the frowner was Kisame.

"Not funny…"

"ZOMG! LOOK AT THIS **TIE**!" Tobi was checking the clothes at the tie department (yeah, it was **THAT** big) and he saw this silk orange tie with little black swirls in it, and he loved them. And the tie too.

Pein slapped his face and then hit his head on the wall several times. And then, when he was done with his small daily dozes of masochism for the day, he looked at Tobi with the same "FUCK" face he looked at Hidan, that thought that was a great time to smash his brains out with the wall.

"WHEEE!! I THINK I SEE MY BRAAAAIIIINS!!" The smashed-till-fucking-unconscious Hidan said, he looked like drunk Deidara and Itachi. Suddenly, Zetsu came near to Pein.

"Hey Pein, you know that if your hand is smaller than your face, you have leukemia?" He told him casually, as he saw him slapping his face. Pein looked at him wide-eyed and placed his hand over his face. Zetsu giggled sadistically.

**PUUUUUUUUUUNCH!!**Zetsu gave Pein's hand an punch with a great deal, I mean, an ENORMOUS deal of force.

The punch was so strong, he started bleeding. Zetsu, by his part, was weeing in his pants, rolling on the floor. Konan just looked really surprised.

Pein removed his hand, to reveal a great, bleeding wound he had in his forehead. His face was white, really pallid. But, SERIOUSLY pallid. Zetsu was still laughing brutally, but everybody rushed to where Pein was, except for Sakura, that Deidara (taking advantage of Pein's distraction) kicked out of the criminal gang. Kicked her in her drawn ass.

Suddenly, Pein stirred his head lightly and closed his eyes. He fell.

**Boooooph…**

He fell on Hidan's arms. He was quick enough to see he was about to fall.

"Dude, what the **hell** happened?!" He asked, he hadn't noticed the punch Zetsu gave him. Konan hurried and kneeled near to Hidan. She looked at Pein tearfully wile she looked at the blood.

"**WHAT'S THE FUCKING MATTER WITH YOU!? CAN'T YOU SEE PEIN IS FUCKING BLEEDING!?**" She screamed at Zetsu, that hadn't notice Pein was actually bleeding, and he stopped laughing. Then he realized that everybody was circling the pale Pein. His wound looked pretty bad and was bleeding incredibly. Hidan, if he wasn't so freaked out, would have started to do disgusting stuff I'm just not writing down.

"Oh my god. I didn't mean to give him **that** hard!" Zetsu said as he stood up and hurried up to where he was. Tobi had stopped looking at the ties and came near with Itachi, Deidara and Sasori.

"What happened to Pein-sama!?" He asked nervously, since he hadn't seen. Kakuzu explained all.

"I guess he might had something his hand so he could get **that** badly injured…" Kakuzu predicted and then a light-bulb appeared above Itachi's head.

**PING!**

"The ring!" He called out and Hidan, the only fucktard that dared to touch blood, looked in his hand and looked at the ring. Then he looked at the wound.

"Yeap. Tachi's right. It was the ring."

"Lets take him to the ER!" Konan said worriedly. She was about to have a nervous breakdown and crying breakdown. Pein looked so calm, he even looked _dead. _

" So we get to see George Cloney!?" Tobi said excitedly. Everybody gave him serious glares.

"**NO!!**" They all bellowed, really mad. It wasn't Tobi's intention to be so stupid. So he tried to back away.

"Ok, sorry, sorry. Gosh, I didn't **know** for God sake." He said annoyingly. Everybody couldn't care less, since they were really worried. Deidara slapped gently Pein's face with the back of his hand.

"He is still warm, hn…" He opened Pein's cloak and put his head on his chest."…and his heart is still beating, meaning he is still alive. But we need to get him out of here, coz people are starting to come." He said wile looking around. People just stared.

"What? Can't a villain study a short medicine course?" He asked, pleased with himself. Konan was sobbing and Zetsu hugged her. He felt really guilty. It wasn't like he **wanted** Pein to bleed that intensely. It was just a joke, not something mean he wanted to do.

"I'm sorry, Konan. I-I didn't **mean** to do that, is just…I didn't mean it!" Black Zetsu told Konan hurriedly. Now, **he** was the one that felt sick and that wanted to cry.

**-x-x-x-**

Konan was still being hugged by Zetsu as everybody came out of the Emporium, Pein, being carried away. Deidara was carrying the bed with one of the male nurses.

"Well, who is going to go with the kid? Only two people can come. Sorry, dep rules…" The man asked and everybody talked between them. They all wanted to go.

"Aww man. If Pein was here, he would have chosen who would have gone with hi-" Hidan started.

**SMACK!**

Konan slapped Hidan's face.

"DON'T TALK AS IF HE WERE DEAD!" She screamed between tears. She looked pitiful. Hidan looked at her with sad eyes.

"I'm sorry…" He apologized, but Konan didn't care.

"I'll go!"

Everybody looked at Konan. She made her way to the ER vehicle as the man looked at the blunette woman. He shrugged.

"Well, at least the lady is **BRAVE**." He said intentionally to all of the bunch of scared criminals.

"Shit…" They all muttered, except for Deidara, that was already in the vehicle, monitoring Pein's pulse.

"How is he?" Konan asked, she dried her tears and looked at him seriously.

"His pulse is alright, he has lost some blood, but he is alright. He just need some stitches and he'll be alright." Deidara said calmly. He knew Konan was trying to act brave. He knew her better than what people though.

"Ok…" Was the only thing she said, before taking seat in one of the seat-like large space with a leather cushion and kept silent.

**xxx**

Zetsu and Tobi were seriously scared. Zetsu felt guilty and Tobi felt sad.

"And I never got to buy what I wanted…" He said in a lamentable voice.

"FUCK HEAD!"

**PUNCH!**

And everybody punched him, even Itachi, because he was scared as well.

"Damn!" Tobi said as he fell to the ground, bruises even in his ass.

**xxx**

Deidara was trying to cheer up Konan by talking to her but although he kept on talking and talking, Konan stayed numb in her seat.

"…Well, the thing is, he always gets what he wants. And what about **my** needs? Hn?" But suddenly Pein shook slightly. Konan cried in happiness.

"PEIN!" And she hugged the orange-hair nin. He blushed.

"Konan…" He said in a weak, sick voice. Konan listened carefully.

"I-I need to tell you some**xxxCough, coughxxx**thing" Pein said between coughs. Konan looked at him warily, with distress tears in her eyes.

"Yes, Pein?"

"Konan…" He then coughed loudly.

"I am…

…your father…"

"**NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!**" Konan screamed and then fell to the floor on her knees. Pein bolted his head to a side and shut his eyes.

"DON'T DIE!!" Pein then opened his eyes with an annoyed face.

" I'm not dead, you stupid. I'm taking a nap. Now, would you mind?." He said as he shut his eyes again. Konan sighted.

"Yo, wait. Am I really your **daughter**?" She asked and Pein shook his head.

"No…"

-.-

"You scared me asshole…" She told Pein as Deidara snickered.

":D Really!?"

**SLAP!  
**

"Yeah, really…" She slapped Pein and then he frowned.

"Fuck, that hurt!" He said as he rubbed his face.

"Are you feeling alright Pein? Is there something you want, hn??" Deidara asked. Pein looked at him wile he looked at the monitor, checking his pulse.

"Me querer tacos…"

**x-x-x-x-x **

They went inside the hospital (hospital? It is a fucking **wound**, its not like they had cut his head off or something…) and they sat down, waiting to be called. Pein fiddled with his fingers and Konan played with her legs. Suddenly, a short (1.40), fat and bulgy woman walked towards a wall.

"Nagato Fuuma here?" What seemed a nurse (or the bulldog-like woman) asked, wile looking at a clipboard with some papers.

"ITS PEIN, MA'AM…" Pein said annoyingly. The nurse didn't twitch. She scratched her arm pit. Konan looked at her with disgust.

"Come inside room…uh…404." She said as she made the bubblegum she was chewing, pop.

"Ok, but can my…errrr…friend? come in?" He asked stupidly. Konan slapped her face as she shook her head in disapproval.

"Aha… whatever. Just hurry up, Mr.Fuuma…" The nurse waved a hand a little in signal of disinterest and allowed the pair of people to follow her to room 404. Pein gritted his teeth.

"IT'S PEIN…" And he strolled off with Konan, following pudding-body.

**x-x-x-x**

After a wile in the hospital room number 404, an elaborated tour inside the emporium, again, and a trip to the public toilet, our criminal friends all gathered themselves inside of the Akatsuki-mobile. Once and for all. Fuck, they **do** like delays…

They had a 1 hour to get to the awards. Luckily, they were already the insides of Beverly Hills.

Pein was sorrowful in the way there because he had just realized Sakura had been kicked out and because he had a gigantic black (he said that, at least, it matched with his costume) patch in his forehead, covering the 10 stitches he had. Zetsu apologized every time they crossed looks, which he tried to avoid, since he was ashamed. The people didn't stop asking if he felt fine, if he wanted a glass of water, if he wanted to go for a wee, if he wanted to punch Tobi (that was the only thing he agreed) and a bunch of other stupid stuff. Like licking a cat's armpit.

Konan wasn't **that** mad with his boyfriend because she knew he didn't **mean** to deliberately open up Pein's forehead. But she made him promise he wouldn't do that kind of jokes to **anybody**. Well, not in the Akatsuki at least…

"Dear, you really need to control your strength…" Was the only thing she begged him to do, which he agreed. Well, he **had** to, he knew the deadly consequences of refusing.

"The thing is, I can't control my strength 100 percent coz I am half white half black. I'm like Michael Jackson…" He stated. Konan knew he wasn't lying, but she kept on repeating, just in case White Zetsu decided to listen to her for once.

"I know, love, but **still**. Tell WZ to control it's self or I will smash his head against a wall." She said dangerously. Zetsu sweat-dropped.

"I'll try, sweetie, I'll try…" He assured.

Pein was talking to Hidan that, for a man that doesn't give a crap about anybody else apart from Kakuzu and himself, was pretty concerned.

"Yo, it was terrible! That must hurt crapy bad… I mean, it was bleeding like hell! I really don't understand how didn't you died…Hm… I wonder why…fuck heads like you would have died." He speculated. Pein nodded.

-.-

"It **did hurt.** Well, not that much at least. Oh fuck it, it didn't hurt at all. But still…" He told Hidan, that looked dazzled.

"What? Then why the hell you passed out?" He asked. Pein shook his head side to side, like saying more-or-less.

"I have nosebleeds a lot, so I guess that this time it was foreheadbleed? I guess this time it caught me pretty bad, so I passed out from blood loss." Pein commented. Hidan nodded.

"Well that's got logic, actually…"

"Pein-sama, that thing happens to Deidara-senpai when he looks at photos of Sasori-senpai!" Tobi butted in (again) to the leader's conversation. Hidan was snickering.

"Kukukukuku…" He had the **balls** to do that, because he almost died from a nosebleed when he looked at one photo of Kakuzu posing

"Uh…That's great…"Pein said as he sweat-dropped.

"Sooooo…Somebdy said ma name?"Sasori said as he placed his arm and elbow on Tobi's shoulder. Tobi looked at him strangely.

"Uh…no?…" He said.

Everybody still talked until suddenly Pein looked around with an absent frown.

"SHUT UP!" He yelled. Everybody turn around to look at him.

"ME WANT TACOWS!!"

...

"And I want a million dollars. Now, shut up." Kakuzu shushed him.

"ME WANT TACOWZZZ!!" He screamed stubbornly, again.

**PUNCH!**

"SHUT UP!" They all screamed as they punched him.

…

"I still want tacowz…"

* * *

**IM SORRY!! I hope this makes up for the wait :S I have been full up to the ass with maths summaries… Fuck, I hate them.  
**

**The good news is that in December I get into holidays, meaning I will update, like, everyday!**

**:D **

**Sorry for making you wait :(!!**

**-Lauren**


End file.
